Gentle Teaching is based on a psychology of human interdependence. It asks caregivers to look at themselves and their spirit of gentleness to find ways to express warmth and unconditional love toward those who are the most disenfranchised from family and community life. It views our role as critical and requires a deep commitment to personal and social change. It starts with ourselves, our warmth toward others, our willingness to give without any expectation of receiving anything in return, and our intense desire to form feelings of companionship and community with those who are the most pushed to the very edge of society.

Gentle Teaching focuses on four essential feelings that need to be taught to those who are served— safe, loved, loving, and engaged. Caregivers not only need to ensure that those whom they serve are safe, but, more importantly, feel safe.
Safe means a sense of self-dignity because "My care givers sees me as whole and good." It also means that caregivers have to teach each person "You are safe with me!" My hands will never harm you! My words will never put you down! And, my eyes will never look at you with disdain!" Feeling safe gives a deep sense of being at peace while with caregivers. And this spreads eventually to others.

Flinching in terror at someone’s approach begins to disappear and is replaced with a calming sensation and a feeling of relief. The teacher can now walk up to the child and the little one feels relaxed and attentive. The parent can walk by the child in the living room and the child feels a sense of warmth. The man who used to curse and hit the caregiver now looks for a warm embrace. The woman who used to run away now wants to be with her caregiver.

A spirit of gentleness involves teaching those who are marginalized that they are loved. This also starts with a feeling "I am somebody!" It is intertwined with a feeling of being safe, but goes beyond it. It deepens that sense of security and gives hope to the person. Feeling loved by others means the person begins to learn "I am more than safe. Life is more than no harm coming to me. If I am safe and loved, then I perhaps can give this to others."

Once feeling loved, the child or adult begins to have a deepening sense of warmth toward others—a smile when seeing a caregiver, cheerful words or sounds, a twinkle in the eye. The man in the homeless shelter who has no material goods begins to think "I am somebody because my care givers see me as somebody!" As the person begins to feel safe and loved, these feelings then begin to spread out to others. Those who are marginalized begin to reach out to others with their love. Hands become tools for tenderness and embraces. Words become tools for uplifting others. Eyes become windows to the heart.

Caregivers also teach human engagement. This is made up of three basic feelings: 1) it is good to be with one another, 2) it is good to do things with one another. And, 3) it is good to do things for one another. Human engagement is the homeless person in the shelter preparing and serving meals to others. It is the child in the classroom doing projects with other children. It is the man or woman in a group home doing chores together simply because it is good to be together. It is street children forming community to protect each other and share the little they have gathered.